I know I said I was going to post some retirement stuff and I didn’t come through. The reason is, I have my final out-brief on Thursday, and I was waiting for more information before I post. That being said…
Today was a bit of an ego bruiser. I received my dialog piece back from my Creative Writing class, and my instructor clearly did not like the piece. I wrote about three guys sitting in a Humvee for six hours pulling security. I will mention first, that my grammar is terrible, so I was a bit embarrassed by that. The thing that bothered me was that she told me she didn’t believe that is the way Soldiers talk. At the back of the paper, she wrote that at the beginning of the story she liked the characters, but at the end I made them sound like sociopaths.
I firmly believe that in my world of the Infantry that I gave a realistic version of how the conversations would go. Now I’m confused as to being real or censoring myself. I obviously offended her, and I don’t want the general public to think that we are sociopaths. I don’t believe that we are, I believe that we are numb to certain things. There is a fine line between being numb and being a sociopath, and I think that the good Soldiers don’t cross that line. I thought it was funny to watch the enemy get killed, but my heart bled for the innocent civilians, oppressed women, and children.
As Infantrymen, our humor was very dark. We talked about masturbation, sex, killing people, killing cheating girlfriends our spouses, but it was talk, and I know that if it ever amounted to something serious we would have stepped in and helped one another out. That is how it is, when we are deployed, we are all that we have. We spend so much time with each other we talk about other things as well from politics to the environment. I felt what I wrote as far as the dialog was the basic conversation that three grunts would have while beginning a six-hour guard shift.
It was a bit offsetting and I did get butthurt over it. I remind myself of the many writers out there who I have listened to their Podcasts and read their blogs, and they have had tons of negative feedback and rejections. I’ll just push forward, mostly because I’m not a huge pussy and for the simple fact that I do like to write.
All for now and I will hopefully get back to you sometime after Thursday and give some info on medically retiring.